halloween. 

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Today was rough. Shane is home from his work trip, which is amazing. But, Landon thought it was a good idea to wake up at 6:03- he was very wrong. 

Then, we went to Homegoods to shop for our new fall decor (we do this every year), and I couldn’t help but be sad. Last year on our trip Shane found a lamp he loved and we bought it for Kenley’s room. It still sits in there, only having been turned on once. 

This year I wanted her to be there. 

Then, we went to a Halloween store…

 SO. DIFFICULT. 

My sweet girl should be here. I should be dressing her up as something ridiculously cute and carrying her around while Landon trick or treats. It’s not fair. 

And of course there was a little girl there walking around with her parents and trying on cute costumes. 

She took a liking to Landon so she was everywhere I turned. 

I eventually broke down once we got home. It was just incredibly difficult. It will always be difficult. No matter how many years go by, my family will always be missing one person. My beautiful first born daughter. My sweet K. 

Thank god today is over. 

6 thoughts on “halloween. ”

  3. I ran away to a tropical island for Christmas last year, as I couldn’t face another ‘happy families’ festive period childless. It was lovely but it didn’t stop the sense of loss. I was so looking forward to Christmas this year, Jovan would have been a month old. Now I’m dreading it already.

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