“There is more than one sort of prison, captain. I sense you carry yours wherever you go.”
We were watching Star Wars Rouge One tonight, and this quote hit home for me really really hard- especially so close to Kenley’s second birthday….
Christmas was weird. This whole year has been weird. I don’t even know how to explain it.
Acceptance, maybe, in a sense?
Defeat? Yes. Absolutely.
You know that feeling when you’re like “omg! This is too good to be true! Pinch me I must be dreaming!”…well, pinch me because this is so fucking awful that I have to be dreaming. I have to be. This cannot be my family’s life…life with a missing piece.
A few more days…
Our Sweet K. 
This blog describes my second Christmas. It was here but it wasn’t.
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Yes, exactly. I saw Christmas come and it’s still here for most people but I’m just an observer…I’m unable to recognize it and feel it and I’m pretty sure I will never enjoy it again. Yes, I had moments of joy from my other children obviously, but the depth of Kenley’s loss was just all too overpowering this season…again?….still? Always more like it.
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I have been thinking of you and Kenley (and will continue to), especially the next few days. ❤
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