Our third beta result came back today: 

Shane and I were expecting around 600-700 so this was pretty good news. 

Our first ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday (uh yeah. This Thursday…) at 9am. Pretty sure I might freak out, idk. Guess we will see. 

The rational part of my brain knows this is a completely different pregnancy, but the loss mom part of my brain, the part that lost her Daughter she loved more than air, is having a hard time separating the two. 

I just miss my girl so very much and I think the fact that our IVF cycle worked and were finally “here”, is really shocking me.

It’s already August. You should be turning 8 months old…instead, well, instead I am a nightmare.