Landon & I came outside this morning and it’s beautiful. Nice and breezy, sunny with just the right amount of warmth. While he runs around scaring the shit out of Wilbert with an unloaded nerf gun, I’m sitting in a chair loving every second of it.
He’s growing up so quickly. I can’t believe he is going to be in kindergarten in about 2 months. I’m so proud of him; so proud of the little man he’s becoming. Yeah, some days he stresses me out beyond belief, but I wouldn’t trade those days for anything. They help me learn how to parent him, and how to take a step back and breathe instead of immediately yelling at him.
Landon has been a lot of work. He has tried my patience so incredibly much over the last 5 years. He still does, and I know he probably always will. But he has taught me so much.
He taught me that I can function with no sleep. He has taught me to enjoy playing with dinosaurs and cars. He allowed me to feel a love more intense than any I have ever known. Watching him learn and try new things has been an incredible adventure. He is a sponge; it’s so amazing to watch him grow.
While we were outside we played with side walk chalk. This is what he drew:
This is Kenley. At first it was her with rosy cheeks, without arms and legs so she looked like a swaddled up baby. Then he gave her hair, and arms and legs (and some weird white circles). He said it was her as a grown up. How sad or a realization that she will never get to be a grown up.
My poor Kenley. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I know you know I did everything I could have done for you. If I could give my life so you could live, I would have them and I would still.
This morning Shane sent me a VRBO listing for a condo in Hawaii. We’ve been trying to decide if we can take a last minute vacation when Shane has time off coming up. It would be so relaxing for us 3 to get away and enjoy some family time. We need it. The past (almost) 6 months have literally been the worst for our family. A vacation is what we need, but who knows what will happen.