Last night, Landon stayed with my mother in law. Shane and I had our first monitoring appointment for this IVF cycle @ 9:15; our office is 40ish minutes from the house so it was easier that way for everyone.

When we got there, it was shit news from the get go.

Let me refresh everyone on what we were working with-

13 follicles at my baseline AFC (meaning, potentially, 13 of those could be growing evenly and possibly be retrieved) and everything else looked good.  I have stimmed (taken shots) for 4 days. The hope was that everything would be growing evenly and just going to town in there.

Nope.

My right ovary had 3 follicles (12mm, 10mm ,9mm) and my left had 3 as well (18mm , 17mm, 10mm). They need to be 15mm to be able to be retrieved and mature properly. So what happened was two of my follicles hogged all the freakin medicine. My RE almost canceled me. I don’t know what to expect on Saturday when we go in again for monitoring.

The plan is to start medicine to stop my body from ovulating on its own (took my first dose this morning at like 10am), increase my follistim to 425, and my menopur to 2 vials, and hope against all odds that the two lead follicles slow the hell down, and let the other ones catch up in size.  My E2 came back at 408 which they said was good and felt comfortable continuing.

I don’t know what happened to my 13 in there. Six follicles- Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? All this money were spending, all the time, all the shots, all the trips to the RE…and I have 6 growing. It’s not good. The hope is to get as many good quality eggs as possible, but well…I guess we will have to wait and see what happens.

If things still look this way on Saturday, we will probably trigger that night, and do an egg retrieval on Monday morning. I really want to believe that my eggs are good quality because I’ve never had that issue, I’m young, and I’ve been taking a shit ton of vitamins for a really long time now.

The plan (I use this word VERY loosely) is to retrieve the eggs on Monday, and go for a 3 day transfer of TWO embryos, which I won’t lie, scares the hell out of me. Implanting two good quality embryos in me, a healthy 30 year old with no issues except low egg count, will more than likely result in twins. I’m just feeling defeated.

I just want to cry. Today hasn’t been good, and to have this IVF cycle go to shit really just takes the wind out of my sails. Come on life, I barely have any as it is.