Yesterday was a rough day for me; I knew it would be of course. 

In the morning Shane and I went to the RE. He did an ultrasound to check the size of my ovaries and made sure I didn’t have any cysts. My right ovary was still enlarged, but he said it was all clear on the ute front. They sent me for blood work to make sure the ovary wasn’t producing any hormones. (Later we found out all my labs came back normal)

The RE told us we were cleared for our transfer, and the soonest we can do it is July 18th. That’s like…17 days away. 

It’s very nervous about everything. I mean EVERYTHING surrounding the transfer. We do know the sex of the embryos, and that makes me even more nervous. I won’t talk about all of that because I know it’s a very personal thing for us. 

I started estrace today, 2x a day, until the middle of next week when I will up it to 3x a day. I go in for a lining check on July 11th, and if everything looks well at that appt we add in 2 cc of progesterone shots daily. Along with those two medicines I will also be taking an antibiotic and a steroid. We will then move forward with transfer. 

I have so many emotions surrounding the transfer and everything that will happen after. What if it doesn’t work? What will I do then…If it works, I’m going to spend the next 37 weeks in fear. I’m scared I won’t be able to feel attachment to this baby. I’m scared if something happens to this baby too, I won’t be able to survive it. 

It’s so terrifying, but I know it will all be worth it once we have a screaming baby in our arms. 

I just wish so badly we already did.