Yesterday, my Brother in Law got married. 

Shane was in the wedding, and looked so so handsome. Like, so handsome that my heart was bursting with love for him. Landon was also in the wedding and looked SO. FREAKING. ADORABLE. 

Seeing them together, dressed up, and being so father/son like just broke my heart. It made me feel very lucky to have them in my life…but, it also made me feel so incredibly alone. 

I should have had Kenley in my arms. She should have been wearing something adorable. She should have been waving to her big brother. She should be here. She should be here. She should fucking be here. 

Instead…I sat alone…Watching my two boys love on each other, while my heart was breaking.