Today we signed our contract for the land and construction loan! We are officially the owners of a really boring piece of land that will become our forever home soon! I can’t believe it. I am so ready to get the house going, and to see what it looks like when it’s all done.

I’ll tell you what…building a house is ridiculous. The stuff that has to be done before you even START is outrageous! Not to mention all the permits you need, and the cost of said permits. It’s nuts. That’s my little update for today. I am having a hard time finding my feelings to write here, but I want to keep updating for people who follow my journey.

I feel like I have a lot to say about nothing. I feel like everything I write about Kenley will just be repetitive and never change. She is a gaping hole in my soul and I cannot change that. It’s so weird. Idk…3 years and some change later and I just miss her as much as the day she died. Somedays its awful, somedays it’s less awful and I can look at her beautiful face and feel proud to be her mom. Today, I scrolled through my blog and saw her photo and my heart sank.

It’s a crap shoot with how I will feel and I think that it’s pretty shitty that this is my forever.

It’s unfair.