The Embryologist called me early today – 7:30 am!

He once again explained to me how the embryos are supposed to look on this day:

The part labeled embryoblast is also called the “inner cell mass” which will become the fetus.

ALL SEVEN OF OUR EMBRYOS MADE IT TO BLAST. 

I am blown away! I never imagined this to be the case, ever. I have diminished ovarian reserve, this is not supposed to happen. I am just sitting here with my jaw on the floor in disbelief.

The embryologist said that currently, 3 embryos are perfect and ready to be PGS tested. He said 2 additional ones are more than likely going to catch up to the same stage and will be able to be tested, too. I’m not sure what will happen with the other two, so I guess we will see what he says tomorrow morning when he calls us.

I’m stopping my PIO shots, and all my other medications. I will start birth control again, and we will go from there. I am a little confused right now as my IVF nurse just told us we are transferring in AUGUST (uh…no?!?!) because my Dr said July. I have an email in to her, and I hope we get this cleared up because HOLY ANXIETY. The whole point of this is to transfer in July. I had this whole thing planned in my head of how it is supposed to go (a terrible idea, I know…life hasn’t gone according to plan yet so why would it now?) so I just hope that she was reading the wrong date or whatever.

The Embryologist is supposed to call us again pretty early tomorrow morning with the biopsy news! I’m nervous, excited, terrified, guilty, worried, scared…you  name it.

I just want this to work in the best way possible.

Today marks 25 weeks since our sweet girl left our lives. It feels like it’s always the same thing every week; Its Tuesday, I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it all, and then I get sad. I know she wouldn’t want us to be sad, and would be happy for us that we’re getting stronger and moving on. It makes me sad to think about bringing a sibling into Landon’s life who isn’t her…but it also makes me feel a little excited. I know she would want that for Landon.

Life after loss is just a fucking mess.

I miss you, sweet K. I’m so thankful I have you looking out for me. I love you baby girl.