Today I am 18 weeks pregnant. 

Tomorrow we have our detailed anatomy scan at the MFM. 

Kenley’s anatomy scan at a regular OB was NINE MINUTES. (because the machine was ‘on the fritz’– oh yeah? HEY. MAYBE BRING ME BACK WHEN ITS WORKING PROPERLY SO MY BABY GETS THE BEST QUALITY CARE SHE DESERVES. )

This one is scheduled to be 1:15 long. 

I will go to my grave knowing that the ultrasound tech who did Kenley’s scan missed something critical to my daughters survival and that is why she is not here (amongst many other reasons…) 

I have been super anxious all day, and I just now realized why. 

I’m scared something is going to be wrong tomorrow. 

And so it begins.