*all kinds of trigger warnings*

I really don’t know how to “do” this, and I have gone back and forth about possibly not even posting it, when to post if I decided to, and how to post. I debated writing about this because I don’t want to hurt anyone, but with MUCH help from many friends I’ve decided this is our journey and I need to do what feels right, so…that being said…

I am currently 10 weeks pregnant.

Yes. You read that right–Pregnant.

Yes. Alden was 3 months old when I got pregnant.

Yes. They will be Irish twins.

No. I did not expect this to happen.

We were given a <2% chance to EVER conceive naturally.

After years of medicated cycles, IUI’s, getting pregnant with Kenley, losing Kenley, and needing IVF to conceive Alden, I never in a million years thought that I would conceive naturally immediately after having our rainbow.

We have been to the doctor 3 times; everything is going smooth and looking exactly like it should. We have heard the heartbeat twice now; once at 7 weeks, and once on Tuesday of this week. Next week we will be seeing the MFM who delivered Alden. We will have an ultrasound, and we will be doing NIPT (Noninvasive prenatal testing) to check that baby is genetically normal, and also to check the sex.

I’m sure some people are going to wonder why I’m “outing” myself so early, but unfortunately I know that there is no safe zone in pregnancy anymore; I could miscarry this baby tomorrow. I would much rather have my blog as a place where I can talk about it, than keep it all inside.

I look forward to walking this crazy road, once again. I’m sure it will be filled with anxiety and fear just as Alden’s pregnancy was, but I know that I am in good hands with my MFM.

Here goes nothing!

9 thoughts on “wonder.

  1. For your Irish twins, two of my favorite Irish blessings…

    “An Old Irish Blessing”
    May the road rise up to meet you.
    May the wind always be at your back.
    May the sun shine warm upon your face,
    and rains fall soft upon your fields.
    And until we meet again,
    May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

    “For a Friend”
    A Wish for a Friend
    Wishing you a rainbow
    For sunlight after showers—
    Miles and miles of Irish smiles
    For golden happy hours—
    Shamrocks at your doorway
    For luck and laughter too,
    And a host of friends that never ends
    Each day your whole life through!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am soo happy for you. I am sure it is nerve wrecking as hell and I totally get the mixed feelings about posting. You have been through hell and back. You are a warrior. You have been on the other side (losing a child, IVF, having a child after loss). I hope this pregnancy as easy as it can be. I know the anxiety will still be there and I’ll be praying for good NIPT results. I am currently having the same fears as you regarding whether my baby is normal or not.

    Liked by 1 person

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