We found out today that our heat pump is shot…We had an HVAC company come out only to find out that it would cost every bit of $6,000 to replace it. I just started crying. We don’t have that kind of money laying around. If anyone want’s to give me six grand, just lemme know. Ugh. So we will be dealing with that tomorrow.

Tomorrow we have our first MFM appt with the doctor who delivered Alden. We will have an ultrasound first, then have our meeting with her. We will discuss our plan for this pregnancy. I’m going to insist that everything be identical to Alden’s pregnancy because well…she’s here, safe and alive…

We will be having our NIPT done. In about a week we will know if the baby has any genetic abnormalities, and we will also know the sex. It still doesn’t feel real, but maybe tomorrow meeting with the doctor will help it sink it? I’m not sure. Still in shock I suppose.

I’ve been having a really hard time with Kenley’s death lately. I miss her so much; it feels like more than normal? It’s so close to 2 years since she died, and it seems impossible. I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels like a really bad dream that I cannot wake up from; A terrible nightmare.

Alden has been sitting up (well, trying to) and it’s so cute. She’s been really enjoying new toys, and exploring new things. She rolls onto her stomach, and has even started putting her knees up under her acting like she wants to crawl. It’s insane. She needs to stop growing up! I can’t believe that she is almost 6 months old. Life is going too fast.

Still plugging along on Kenley’s second birthday project. I’m doing well with it, but ugh…I need so much more. If you’re reading this and you’ve meant to donate, consider this your gentle nudge 🙂

I’m trying to get everything together, and I feel like everything is just overwhelming me.

One day at a time, right?