I’ve come to the conclusion that the only thing keeping me sane during this month is giving back. I’ve always wanted to adopt a family for Xmas but every year I’m too late and once again this year I suck and can’t find a way to do it. BUT! I’ve been giving back in other ways. I’ve donated to my sweet friend Alison’s project in honor of her daughter, Meredith (find it here!), I plan to donate a toy to another friends project, complete my random 3 (acts of kindness) for FJB who was born still a year exactly before Kenley, and there are tons more things I’m planning on doing this season to help heal my heart.

I found a wonderful project to help fill Kenley’s stocking on Christmas morning, and I hope that it works out but I’m also terrified. I cry a lot at Christmas. This year will be no different I’m sure and to read these cards sent to my daughter…I hope it warms my heart. If you would like to participate please let me know.

Tonight Alden fell asleep in the car and when Shane got out to get her out he called for me to come look at her. He said “who does she look like?”…Kenley. Exactly like Kenley. It was so weird to see…and when you put the pictures side by side it isn’t the same as when I saw her tonight. I can’t believe how similar they look! I know they’re sisters but at birth you’d never have been able to tell!

I’ve been having a hard time lately; the Holidays are the WORST. I’m trying to stay occupied and what not but I have no motivation, no drive to complete anything, and I’m getting completely overwhelmed by the smallest tasks. My boxes from IKEA we’re supposed to be here today and they’re not…the friend who made the majority of my hats and blankets hasn’t told me when she plans to ship them and I need them asap, just a million things on my plate and I can’t seem to pick one and work on it.

We have a leak in our roof.

Our dishwasher broke.

I’ll keep going….

But instead I’ll just leave these adorable pictures here. It makes my heart swell with love thinking that this is possibly what Kenley would have looked like except with dark hair…