her.

“She looks just like Kenley”

I have heard this more than I can count the past week.

I know she does, and I can’t tell you how many emotions this raises for me. When she came out with a darker complexion and dark hair I honestly couldn’t believe it. Not what I was expecting at all. And then to top it off, she was born at the exact same time as Kenley? Like what are the chances. I should have rescheduled my csection or something. I don’t know.

At first it really bugged me that she was born at the same time…then Shane said it was Rowan’s connection to her. Alden has Kenley’s middle name as a first name, and Rowan wasn’t going to have anything. Now she has this.

10:32.

I cannot help but feel almost weird caring for this new child who SO closely resembles the one I’ve been grieving the loss of for 27 months now…

Can anyone say mind fuck?

My heart is so full of love and I am so so tired , yet somehow I am just left missing Kenley. No matter how tired I am, or how many new things happen in my life- I will always think of you, sweet girl. Mommy loves and misses you so much.

2 thoughts on “her.

  1. Oh Randi ❤️❤️❤️
    I worried about saying that but couldn’t help but see it. They are beautiful, beautiful sisters and Rowan is here for a reason. Her own reason. She will never ever take away from Kenley’s beauty, her magnitude, her reason, your love for her, or anyone else’s. (Or vice versa)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. (((HUGS))) I can only imagine how many emotions all of those things combined bring about- on top of the daily, ever present void of Kenley’s absence.

    To be honest, my gut reaction when I saw her time of birth was the same as Shane’s- that it was Kenley’s gift to Rowan- leaving part of herself with her sister forever. They will always be sisters, and have a connection.

    You’ve been so blessed with three perfect daughters and such a handsome son. I know the weight of loss and grief is heavy and never ending, but your grace and strength is such a beautiful thing. You’re an amazing mother/wife/woman/person💜💜💜

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s