Remember the post I just wrote about having very little rational brain left? 

Yeah it’s officially gone. 

Alden’s movement was decreased all day. 

I had a weird pain in my left side. 

Used my Doppler six times- all was well. 

Blood Pressure checked out at 117/77 (kinda low for me). 

17 kicks in an hour (kinda low too).

Yet…somehow we ended up at L&D tonight. 

The next ten days need to hurry the hell up. I cannot handle this stress, nor can my poor sweet husband. The PTSD is killing us; every time they can’t find her HB immediately we both feel sick to our stomach and want to cry. 

10 days. 10 days. 10 days. 

5 thoughts on “gone. 

    • Yeah, pretty much. They say she’s safer inside than outside which whatever I don’t really agree with that but I’m no doctor! Thank you for sending love! We definitely need it and all the good vibes 💗😘


  1. Hey girl, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. This wait, anxiety, PTSD sounds terrible and hope this week goes by as fast as it can and that you a sweet beautiful baby in your arms. Big hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad everything checked out OK, and good job on your BP! I know this PTSD is so so hard and I wish I had advice to offer but it’s just something you have to get through one bit at a time. FWIW, this baby’s pattern has been nothing but erratic the past couple of weeks and I just have to remind myself that a change in pattern is part of his pattern. For example, after being active pretty much all day on Friday, yesterday was a sleepy day. Whenever I feel it’s a sleepier day I basically chain myself to the couch for kick counts, which is horrible, but it’s what I need to do to get through. Hang in there and remember you crossed one more day off the calendar, which is huge.

    Liked by 1 person

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