This is how last night went in our house…

6:15 p.m. bedtime (only because I literally could not keep her awake any longer)

8:30 p.m. woke up crying; couldn’t get her to calm down so gave her gas drops and orajel.

11:45 p.m. woke up screaming. tried to feed her but she only wanted barely 2 oz.

1:30 a.m. awake. gave another dose of Tylenol and orajel.

3:40 a.m. woke up screaming. she cried so hard and long that she woke Landon up.

4:30 a.m. jabbering to herself in her crib. (cue me begging her to go back to sleep…)

5:15 a.m. screaming. I get her calm and back to sleep.

8:00 a.m. she wakes up.

I am tired.

Yesterday Shane and I were talking about how I feel like I can’t keep up with household things because I’m so tired, or Alden is so needy (she has her first tooth almost poking through), or my anxiety is taking over my thoughts a lot lately so I’m occupied with that. (Only people with anxiety will understand how mentally occupying anxiety is…)

Shane said I need to think of SAHM like my job (which obviously I do, and he knows that but was just saying for convo) to which I replied “no. If it were a job, I would get breaks and vacation time!” Which in theory is true, but I know and understand that it’s (pretty much) a thankless job. The amount of stuff that I do on a daily basis is ridiculous. I know all stay at home moms feel this way, and I also know that there are some stay at home moms who make the rest of us look bad. Sure, I could clean more, or what have you, but I’m sorry… I just do not see how I would make time.

At 8-9 p.m. when Landon goes to sleep for the night I am DONE. I want nothing more than to either a.) shower, b.) sit on the couch and zone out, or c.) go to bed. Usually a and c win. It’s so difficult for us because Shane works weird hours, so it’s usually me and the kids all night. I’ve become used to the routine already so it’s not a big deal, but when this baby gets here I’m kind of terrified at how I will handle it all. It feels like if I’m not taking care of one of Alden’s MANY needs, that I am doing something for Landon. Sometimes it takes all the effort in the world for me to find 3 seconds to go pee!

This post isn’t to complain; I love being a stay at home mom and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. It’s more so to just talk about the situation and conversation that Shane and I had yesterday. It made me laugh.

I read somewhere that if SAHM were paid, they would make $96k a year. Oh wait! I just found a thing that allows you to calculate how much you should make as a stay at home mom… $114,618. I wish! How amazing would that be?

Being a stay at home mom is tough.